Joshonsteak and sundae

A Response to Mike's Post on Admirals Club Snack Mix

[This is a response to Mike's post, which you can find by clicking here.]

First of all, the only good things in that snack mix are the sesame sticks.

Second, the snack mix is so loaded with sodium that if you eat a cupful or two before your flight, you'll arrive at your destination with ankles the size of tree trunks.
 
Third, I eat at least seven cupfuls of snack mix every time I visit an Admirals Club.
 
Fourth, if you are lucky enough to be in an Admirals Club when they are serving cheese cubes, you're in for a treat. Here's what you do: Fill your cup halfway with snack mix. Then fill the rest of the way with cheese cubes. Then use a fork to mush the whole thing together into a blob of cheesey crunchiness. You now are in possession of a food item that is exactly 3.745 times more delicious than anything on the Amora menu.
 
[Speaking of the Amora menu, here's a quick and informative story: A few days ago I was at the Admirals Club at MCI (which is Kansas City, even though the words "Kansas City" do not contain the letter M). I was there early in the morning, and I wanted a bite to eat for breakfast. I requested a breakfast sandwich. The lady told me that I couldn't have the breakfast sandwich off the Amora menu because they were frozen, and the microwave -- which is the only heating technology they have in this Admirals Club -- had broken the day before. She then pointed to the microwave, which looked like someone had set off an M80 inside of it. I had a cold bagel instead.]
 
Fifth, here's a tip for getting kicked out of an Admirals Club. Go up to the snack mix dispenser machine. Remove the lid. Pour hot water into the snack mix machine. Allow to steep for seven minutes. Then, pour a few cups of "snack mix tea" and offer them to people sitting nearby.
 
Sixth, here's a little-known culinary fact: You can grind up Admirals Club snack mix and use it as a coating for deep-fried pickles.

 

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