I consider myself somewhat of an expert on inflight breakfast.
In the past year, I've eaten a fair share of morning meals on airplanes. In the confusing throes of pre-caffination, I've asked myself many times: cereal or eggs? I've talked about it. I've written about it. Frankly, I've beaten the subject to death. Recently, I found myself blurry-eyed, crawling down yet another jetway before dawn. Destination: Seattle. "Inflight Dish" was the last thing on my mind, until the flight attendant handed me this:
The flight attendant handed me a menu. For breakfast. A breakfast menu. A breakfast menu with three options.
My eyes grew wide and I re-read the menu. It was right there in black and white: "French Toast with grilled smoked pork loin, grilled pineapple and syrup." What!!? In that moment, the only thought running through my head was "Don't run out, please don't run out." This was unlikely, considering I was seated in 2F.
Behold, the French toast breakfast platter. Two massive slices of golden bread, a thick round of ham and a tiny bucket of syrup. The pineapples had apparently gone AWOL, but I didn't care. I smothered the French toast with butter and syrup and took a tentative bite. The syrup soaked into the warm bread, resulting in sweet and spongy mouthful. It wasn't half bad. I swirled the ham around in the maple-flavored ooze. I could feel the sugar rushing through my veins. When presented with a steaming, colossal-sized cinnamon bun, I had to decline. This French toast takes the cake as the most filling breakfast I've ever eaten on an airplane.
I still couldn't wrap my head around this newfangled paper menu and multiple breakfast options. Just four days prior, I took an early morning flight from Newark to Las Vegas. It was a wild, drunken, Bloody Mary rampage (naturally) but offered the usual suspects: eggs and cereal. Unless Vegas was an exception, this tray table development is brand-spanking new. If it's a result of the post-merger United, I'm okay with it. As long as my Oneida-brand flatware sports that familiar navy pattern, I'll still be flying Continental.